


Very very very very very shy (ft. The Green Jacket)

by kagme



Series: Every reality with you [4]
Category: Twosetviolin, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Brett is Brett, Eddy is an anxious mess, Friendship, M/M, Music, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25706275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagme/pseuds/kagme
Summary: “So, what’s your name? Why are you here? I mean, not that I only judge on appearances or what, but you kind of seem like the guy who only gets straight A’s. Did your parents force you to come? Typical, if you ask me. Oh! Are they forcing you to play violin too?” Brett ends up asking in one breathe.And that’s it. He’ll have to answer. He’ll have to answer and nothing is ready in his head, he didn’t prepare anything and he doesn’t know- Should he just say his name? Tell more? Nod?He doesn’t know, his heart is beating, his hands are sweating, he feels like the whole class has gone silent, listening to him, and the only thing that escapes his mouth has the comforting weight of familiarity.“Hi, My- my name is Eddy Chen, I’m- I’m thirteen, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin,” he blurts.When Brett doesn’t laugh at him, when Brett doesn’t even blink at how awkward that answer was, just gives him a big smile, a -Yeah? That’s so cool! My parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin too!- Eddy has his first crush ever.
Relationships: Eddy Chen & Brett Yang, Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Series: Every reality with you [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2081190
Comments: 38
Kudos: 186





	Very very very very very shy (ft. The Green Jacket)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [【授权翻译】Very very very very very shy (ft. The Green Jacket)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25973662) by [Jonnayoly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonnayoly/pseuds/Jonnayoly)



> Hey, I saw a mention somewhere that someone should write about Eddy being very very very very shy, and the green jacket sharing. And I thought, _Oh, yeah, someone definitely should_.... and a few minutes later I was typing.
> 
> This was born mostly out of boredom. Work has been slow lately, so I have too much time on my hands, I spend most of my days writing or playing the piano, so I’m drowning the fandom with fics xD
> 
> This... was actually supposed to be fluffy? But it became more introspective, that’s Eddy’s fault, writing from his perspective always does that.
> 
> Some support for my beta, since she’s had to beta read basically a chapter a day lately and I harass her with my writing. Thank you Ria!
> 
> Edit: after TwoSet’s draw my life video, and the knowledge that this jacket is in fact probably Eddy’s, I made a few changes so it would fit reality a bit more :)

**Very very very very shy**

**(ft. The green jacket)**

  
  


There is something about talking to people that eats him up from the inside, that makes him want to throw up even if his stomach is empty. 

The worst part of school is the first day, when teachers ask all the kids in the class to present themselves and say a few words. It’s nothing, it’s just saying your name, your age and some trivia.

_Hi, my name is Eddy Chen, I’m seven, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin._

_Hi, my name is Eddy Chen, I’m ten, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin._

_Hi, my name is Eddy Chen, I’m twelve, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin._

_Hi, my name is Eddy Chen, I’m thirteen, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin._

Every year, he would rehearse his part in his head over a thousand times, even if the only thing that changed with the years was his age, his heart beating faster as his turn was coming closer and closer. He would finally stand up, and no matter how much taller he got, he would still be trembling, hiding his shaking hands behind his back.

“Hi, my name is Eddy Chen, I’m thirteen, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin.”

And he would sit down and everything else is just white noise until the end of the class, trying not to breathe too loudly, trying not to shiver from the aftershock of speaking in front of all of his classmates.

He doesn’t really know how to start a conversation, and the idea of just- of just coming up in front of someone and talking makes him freeze anyway. Who knows what stupid things he might end up saying? What if they think he’s weird? What if he stutters?

So he mostly keeps to himself, and the only time he presents himself is that very first day of school, every year, without fault, the same sentence falling from his lips, rehearsed ten thousand times over.

*

That’s probably why, on that first day of math tutoring, he sits alone on the second row, on the second seat from the left, determined to just be a good child, get his grades up and make his mother proud.

The other kids around him are chattering together, enjoying the small amount of freedom they have before the teacher comes in, and talking seems so easy for them. They glance at him, from time to time, and he lowers his head and pretends not to notice. He doesn’t have the right to feel lonely, he thinks, it’s his own fault if he can’t speak to people, he’s the one pushing them away with his silence and awkwardness.

Still. He feels lonely. 

Then, there’s someone plopping down beside him, unannounced, his shadow engulfing him, darkening the white paper he was scribbling on, and he startles so hard he drops his pen and yelps.

There’s laughter from all around the classroom, and it’s directed at him this time. He wants to crawl up in a hole and die there. He didn’t even speak once and still managed to embarrass himself.

“I don’t think you should be laughing, Jeff,” the teenager beside him says with a snort. “I mean, you’re kinda the expert of falling from your chair because you think there’s a bat in your hair.”

“Hey! That was one time!” The boy named Jeff protests, but it’s too late, the teasing and laughing is already redirected to him, and Eddy can breathe, free of the heavy attention. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, hey. Jeff and I were in the same middle school last year, but he’s a bit of an ass and I don’t like his friends, so I don’t really want to sit with him. There’s nobody here, right? I can sit?”

_You’re already seated,_ Eddy wants to answer, but he just nods, because his voice is still stuck somewhere at the back of his throat, and he can’t find it. The other guy bends down to get the fallen pen and hands it to him. He looks like the kind of kid others would pick on; with his mushroom cut, his glasses, lenses so thick his eyes seem small, his braces, his small size and his delicate fingers. Everything about him should scream _nerd,_ but there’s something in the way he carries himself, in the angle of his smirk. A fearlessness, a quiet confidence, a fuck-you-if-you-don’t-like-me attitude that immediately puts him in the popular clique, that makes him intimidating, somewhat. 

“Hi, I’m Brett, by the way. I can’t believe I’m stuck here, I hate maths. I mean, that’s probably why my mom made me come here actually. If I didn’t hate it as much, I guess my grades would be better and I wouldn’t need to come here. I mean, it’s Friday evening and I’m still in a classroom? That’s the worst way to start the weekend.”

He talks- how could someone talk _so much?_ To a person they didn’t know. It baffles Eddy, and all he can do is blink as the guy keeps casually chattering, as if- as if Eddy was _normal._

_I can do this,_ he thinks, _if I just keep nodding and let him talk, maybe I won’t have to say anything._ Half of him wants Brett to go away and leave him alone, because he can feel his anxiety skyrocketing at the simple idea of having to answer the guy, and the other half wants to cling to him and never let go, because it’s so _nice_ to have someone talk to him. He feels safe, protected from the stares and the loneliness by the small frame of this boy. 

“So, what’s your name? Why are you here? I mean, not that I only judge on appearances or what, but you kind of seem like the guy who only gets straight A’s. Did your parents force you to come? Typical, if you ask me. Oh! Are they forcing you to play violin too?” Brett ends up asking in one breathe.

And that’s it. He’ll have to answer. He’ll have to answer and nothing is ready in his head, he didn’t prepare anything and he doesn’t know- Should he just say his name? Tell more? Nod?

He doesn’t know, his heart is beating, his hands are sweating, he feels like the whole class has gone silent, listening to him, and the only thing that escapes his mouth has the comforting weight of familiarity.

“Hi, My- my name is Eddy Chen, I’m- I’m thirteen, my parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin,” he blurts.

When Brett doesn’t laugh at him, when Brett doesn’t even blink at how awkward that answer was, just gives him a big smile, a - _Yeah? That’s so cool! My parents are from Taiwan and I play the violin too!_ \- Eddy has his first crush ever.

  
  


*

Brett is just- Brett is _cool._

Brett is everything Eddy wants to be, but since he can’t, he just loves him instead.

He doesn’t give a shit what people think of him, and everybody likes him anyway. Eddy likes him anyway. 

He talks so easily to anybody. So easily he even managed to talk to _Eddy_. So easily he even managed to befriend him.

He’s kind, despite it all. Kind enough that he never gets rebuffed by Eddy’s awkwardness. Kind enough that he keeps on being friends with him.

He’s protective, and becomes acidic when someone is mean to Eddy, sharp tongue and small body a shield between him and the world. 

He’s so good at the violin, he knows all those things Eddy doesn’t, and when they play together at the Youth Orchestra, he almost can’t believe this talented teenager is his friend.

He’s understanding, never tries to impose his opinion or himself on others. And he knows when Eddy needs space, just leaves him be, never forces him to talk when he doesn’t want to.

He’s a force of nature, and his energy is so overwhelming Eddy gets swept up into it, starts laughing more, starts opening up, starts fooling around, starts ignoring the stares, because nothing really matters when he’s with Brett, apart from the other boy’s laughter. 

Eddy understands why he loves Brett, why he never wants to leave him, why he’s his best friend in the whole world. But he doesn’t understand what Brett sees in him, what he ever did to deserve this friend, why he even bothers speaking to him.

And everytime he sees Brett speaking with someone, he’s afraid the other will realize how much cooler everyone else is compared to him, and just leave him here. He feels like a fraud, when Brett calls him his best friend, because the other deserves so much more than a socially awkward teenager who can barely make friends on his own.

*

He likes to think he gets better with the years, that by the time university comes around, he’s more relaxed. He still doesn’t initiate the conversations, but he doesn’t freeze anymore, his insides have stopped eating him when he has to answer, and he has his own friends, self-esteem very slowly building up.

And there is Brett, who, by some miracle, still likes him, still pushes him, still is his best friend. 

“I’ll never do it. Brett I can’t perform in front of all of these people. I’m not ready I’ll- I can’t- I-”

“Hey, hey, listen to me. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay, Eddy, believe me. Breathe now. C’mon. Okay, good. You’ll do it. You’ll go out there, perform your piece, and whatever happens, it doesn’t matter. If you do good, then cool, if you don’t, you’ll learn why and do better next time. One step closer to getting rid of performance anxiety.”

“What if they think I suck?”

“They can think whatever they want, I know you don’t, and you should know you don’t. It’s all that matters, alright?”

“What if they’re right?”

“I’ve been playing with you longer than anybody else. If you don’t trust yourself, trust me. You’re the best musician I’ve ever played with.”

“Actually?” he whispers, uncertainty shaking his voice.

“Yeah, now go, don’t make me say more cheesy stuff,” there’s so much fondness in Brett’s voice, Eddy can’t swallow around the love constricting his throat.

So he goes.

He goes and he fucks up, but it’s okay, because Brett takes him across the bridge for a one liter bubble tea, because they laugh, because his best friend ignores everybody who isn’t him in that moment, and Eddy starts believing the other won’t leave him, that he did something right at some point and Brett talks and talks and talks, and Eddy listens, and he thinks that he can listen forever.

*

He sits, alone in front of his music stand, and he’s thirteen again.

It doesn’t matter that he graduated university, that he’s now in a professional orchestra, that he’s supposed to be an adult, to be _better._

The people around him aren’t kids in a classroom anymore, but exactly as frightening, and he can’t open his mouth. They are chatting, joking, they all seem to know each other and Eddy can’t speak. He fears, if he has to answer someone, the only words that would come out would be - _Hi, my name is Eddy Chen, I’m twenty one, my parents are from Taiwan, and I play the violin -_

So he doesn’t say anything. He stays there, fiddling with his phone, and there’s no shadow engulfing him, no confident boy plopping himself beside him, talking his ear off, because Brett is all the way in Sydney, and Eddy is not.

He thinks back to Youth Orchestra, to the messing around, the involuntary eye contact making them crack up, the doodles on the music sheet, the bad imitations, the snickering and the whispering, and there’s a post on Facebook, a picture; Brett is in the middle of the other musicians of the Sydney Symphony Orchestra, and he looks so at ease, smiling and confident, and of course he has tons of friends already.

His fingers are tense around the neck of his violin, he feels lonely, he feels like it’s his fault, and he wonders if now is finally the time Brett realizes he’s better off without him.

*

Then Brett gives up his job for him, for _them._

*

“I love you, Eddy,” Brett says in his shoulder with a special weight in his words that takes his breath away from him.

“I love you too,” he answers, and he’s crying, but it carries everything.

They did it, they did it, because with Brett he feels invincible, he feels like the best version of himself, like they can do anything, and they have reached their kickstarter goal. They’ll travel the world together, they’ll have their own show. They are Brett and Eddy, they are TwoSet Violin, and he’s not afraid anymore.

He’s hugging his best friend with all he has, and he still doesn’t know what this brilliant, brilliant man sees in him, but they’re in this together until the end. 

*

Eddy likes to doubt things, because questioning them, questioning himself means allowing growth, means open mindedness, means anticipating.

But there’s one thing he stopped questioning. He doesn’t remember when it happened. When he became confident enough to be so certain of this one thing.

Brett loves him. 

And there’s no more questions about it. He still doesn’t know how, or why, he just knows it’s true. He hasn’t dissected the nuances of this love, where it spans, what it entails, but it doesn’t really matter. 

It changed everything. He’s not afraid to speak as much, because he knows Brett won’t leave him, even if he says something stupid. He’s not afraid to mess up as much, because Brett will pick him up and rebuild him after. He’s not afraid of embarrassing himself as much, because Brett will be by his side, twice as ridiculous anyway.

*

He still has days where he feels the world is out to get him, like the people staring from the other side of the camera will think he’s ugly, he’s stupid, like he won’t be able to open his mouth otherwise something ridiculous might come out.

And Brett is tiny, but he’s still his shield against the world, and when he feels judgment coming from even the walls of his room this morning, he knows today won’t be a good day, he knows he needs to wrap himself in his best friend.

So when he comes out of the bedroom with the green jacket Brett borrowed earlier, his smell still on it, he feels as if he adopted the fearlessness, the confidence. He can’t be like Brett, but he loves him instead, and it’s everything.

His best friend raises an eyebrow but isn’t surprised. It wouldn’t be the first time. He knows what Eddy’s going through, what he needs. 

“It suits you,” he just says, and turns on the camera. 

“Do I look like you?” Eddy fishes because he still needs more.

“No. You look better.”

He smiles silly and wants to hug him, but then he feels brave. Like he can take on the world now, like he can do anything.

“Hey, can I try something?” he whispers a second before Brett can hit the play button of the recording.

His heart is beating in his throat, but he wants to try, he wants to use all this courage he borrowed.

“Yeah?”

He leans down.

He leans down but he stops, because he doesn’t know, because he chickens out, because he remembers he’s just Eddy Chen and why would Brett Yang want him?

But his best friend jumps to his rescue, like always, saves him from himself, and closes the gap between their lips.

Brett kisses him, because he’s fearless, because he gives all of himself when he believes in something, because he loves Eddy, because he’s not afraid of loving him.

Then he pats Eddy’s chest.

“You really look good in your jacket,” he whispers against his lips, and he backs off.

“Wait- wait, wait-” Eddy stutters before he can stop himself, because he wants _more_. His hands and his eyes are hardwired to seek Brett out, and he reaches toward him once more.

He doesn’t need to say anything else, he never needed to with Brett.

They come together again, for a second kiss, and a third, and a fourth, and they end up filming later than planned, but for all the videos after, he can feel Brett against his lips, in his mouth, all around him, he’s safe in the jacket and nothing is impossible.

His name is Eddy Chen, he’s twenty seven, his parents are from Taiwan, he plays the violin, and he’s in love with his best friend.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> That was short, but hopefully enjoyable :)
> 
> I tried to be as relatable as possible with this perspective, since I’ve mostly written from Brett’s perspective before (easier since our personalities are closer).
> 
> I hope you liked it, have a good day!


End file.
